Dissociation is real and it often happens so fast… I dissociated a few days ago and completely lost my voice. My world got confusing. I couldn’t voice my needs or even recognize I had a choice. I checked out to protect myself from feeling rejected and abandoned.
Now that I’m out of it I can remember the exact moment it happened. It was a simple comment, him sharing his experience, it didn’t make sense to me and instead of saying so I checked out. I withdrew to protect myself. I turned into that “OK, whatever” girl and couldn’t communicate my needs for the rest of our time together.
After parting ways I reached out to a friend to make sense of my confusion. Talking I could see what happened and quickly returned to my body, feeling me again able to make decisions and know my needs. I was able to see that pivotal point where if I’d communicated and didn’t just go into rejection my/our experience would’ve been so different.
It’s such a gift to learn our triggers and heal the wounds that underlie the triggers. Most people will not recognize you’re not OK, so when you need help the most they will not see it and may even be triggered themselves. Doing the work, unravelling the stories, healing the wounds, being best friends with you, and maybe even changing the situation are essential to thrive, feel whole and truly love yourself.